if there’s one thing i’ve learned from travelling with dylan, it’s how to pack a bag. i’m a goddamn whiz at it. heading on a trip? follow these tips. seriously – are you listening? i promise you will thank me later.
1) do not check the temperature of your destination ahead of time. checking the temperature is for suckers and you are not a sucker.
2) fill your suitcase to exploding with every possible outfit imaginable for baby, plus the ones she’s about to grow out of. then, pack all accessories, toys, books, and anything else you can think she might need for the next week or two.
3) do not pack diapers, wipes, creams or other sundries. you can always buy too much of it when you get there and leave it behind or with friends who don’t have kids.
4) completely forget to pack enough pairs of underwear, socks, and t-shirts for yourself for the duration of your trip.
5) in fact, you should only ever pack one impractical pair of shoes you may wear once, alongside the uncomfortable, heavy pair you plan to wear on the plane.
4) put everything you didn’t pack in your suitcase for the baby in your diaper bag / carry on. make sure to stuff a bottle of water in the bottom that you’ll forget about when you go through the security check.
5) wear your biggest, hottest, most unwieldy jacket to the airport, and fill the pockets with everything covering the surface of your dresser – a spare glove, receipts, scraps of paper. you know how coco chanel says to take one thing off before you step out the door? you do the opposite of this. add one more thing. or two. or four. if they’re practically bursting, you’re on the right track.
6) meticulously plan snacks the night before and forget them in the fridge on the way out the door. mmm you’ll be so excited to eat those lunchables when you come home to your super clean house that’s so clean because you spent all the time you should have spent packing cleaning so you would come home to a clean house.
7) use a carry-on and diaper bag that are too small for all of the things you need so that you have to carry the overflow in your arms while you try to juggle your passports, boarding passes, a squirming baby who really just wants to dart off the first second you put her on the ground, and the coffee you won’t get a chance to drink until she maybe falls asleep on the plane.
8) do all of that exactly the same way except with more stuff and more stress on your flight back.